One Small Step

Ok, so you know that crazy feeling that I said that I have been getting about something exciting happening?! Well, it has gotten even more weird!

I don't know how many of you really believe in "signs" or anything like that. But I sure do. So I have been getting that feeling for a few days now and then two nights ago I had the craziest dream!

It was about my ex boyfriend. And not just any ex...THE ex. Im not sure if I have mentioned him on here before. We dated for about 3 years at the end of highschool and beginning of college. This is the guy that I though I was going to be with for forever. And when we broke up I was devastated. I went though a really hard time with, and we even discussed him a lot in therapy as a possible trigger for my eating disorder (feeling out of control about the breakup and needing to counteract it with the control of my body). Not saying that he was the SOLE reason, but def. a part of it.

Basically my dream was about just letting him go. For good. I have hung on to that relationship for years, and compared every other boy to him. When I woke up I knew it was time for to move on. If I was going to go any further with my life, I had to let him go.

I have kept this box of notes and pictures from when were together for forever...yesterday I pulled it out, and without thinking twice about it, I threw it in the dumpster at work last night. I am moving on now, I have let that part of my life go, and I'm not gonna compare any more. Its time for something NEW!

Ok, I hope you guys don't think that I am absolutely crazy or anything now. haha. It is just one of those things that I had to deal with.

Onto EATS!

Of course I had my blogs and oats in the morning before going to school to be the art teacher.

I made sure to get several bits of info into one picture...banana oats, blogs on the laptop, fave flannel pj pants, early as HELL!, cup of coffee, and animal print pillow (of course). Its almost like a page out of I Spy!

Then it was my packed lunch at my desk

Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Peanut Butter (FAVE!), Blackberry Preserves, Banana, on Honey Wheat Bread, and some Honey Wheat Pretzels. With a little side of "Plans for the Sub".

After I subbed I had to work at the Rave last night. I will be doing this for the next three days!! That is a total of 40.5 hours of work in 4 days!!! But after that I leave for the beach, so I will have plenty of time to recuperate.

When I went into work I noticed that we had gotten in the cutest new top! I figured since I have been straight workin my ass off, I deserved a new top...the best part?! It has a unique back (of course!) :)

This is a picture of the back of the shirt. OH SO BEACHY!

Alright guys...gotta JET! I am a teacher by day and a raver by night! haha. WISH ME LUCK!

Hope everyone has a Happy Hump Day!

Lots of Love <3 Ems.

Another Be-a-u-tiful Day

I did it again! Another spelling lesson for everyone, that is how I have to say "beautiful" when I am trying to spell it. I think I must have slept through English in elementary school, not quite sure.

However, as the title suggests, it is another FREAKIN' GORGEUOUS day today. I may just have to break out the shorts.....or umm maybe get tan first THEN break out the shorts...yeah that sounds like a better idea.

Although today pretty, its already promising to be pretty darn hectic again as well. I HAVE to go to the hospital to see Jenie's new baby. I woke up this morning and had a text from her saying that he was born around midnight last night, and I could not be more excited to welcome the new little man into the world!

I have been trying to take it a little easy on the running this week, because my knees have been hurting a little. Nothing too bad, but I def. don't want to push it. I have been icing them and going on short runs, or just working out on the eliptical. But I do have exciting running news! On May 30th (when we are due to go to the beach in Charleston) I signed up for a 5K right on the beach! I was searching for a race that I could do while I was down there and that is the only thing going on the week. I have never ran a 5K, and honestly I'm kind of intimidated. Sure, I can run at a steady pace for a long distance, but at a fast pace in a short distance?! Im not sure. But, if nothing else, it should be really fun. Its right on the beach and it is in the evening. I also have something else exciting planned during my beach trip...but I'm gonna keep it a SURPRISE! haha.

This morning for breakfast I had some Honey Greek yogurt, with half a banana, some strawberries, and some All Bran Flakes mixed in...oh yeah and a few raisins, too.

This was nice and refreshing for the warm weather that we have been having. Did I mention that I am LOVING the sunshine?!!?

For lunch, I decided to mix it up a bit and NOT have a wrap. Instead I made a sandwich...I know, I know...big stretch right?!

Close-Up/Break-Down:

• Whole Wheat Bread
• Red Pepper Hummus
• Deli Sliced Turkey
• Spinach
• Cucumber
• Spicy Mustard

Now its time for a quick 3-mile run (outside, of course) a shower, and work. Busy, Busy Day! I do have some pretty big updates in the personal life area of Em. But, I think that will have to wait for when I have more time ;)

Hope everyone is enjoying their Saturdays and soaking up the sun!

Lots of Love, <3 Ems.

Grocery Goodies, Reviews, and Runs

Ok, so I'm pretty sure that today actually is Saturday as opposed to yesterday, when I tried to declare it Saturday morning, when in fact, it was Friday. So, I hope everyone is having a great Saturday! So far, mine is going great. Its sunny and warm outside and I just got done with a great run and a great lunch for fuel!

Lets back track to yesterday though. Before work I went to the grocery store for some essentials. We were practically out of everything, so I picked up some basics.

Fruits:

• Bananas
• Blueberries
• Strawberries
• Grapes
• Mangos
• Fuji Apples

Veggies:

• Roma Tomatoes
• Purple Cauliflower! I couldnt resist :)
• Cucumber
• Salad Mix

I found a new flavor of flat out wraps that I have not tried yet. Sundried Tomato. I had it for lunch, so I will give my review.

Miscellaneous Items:

• Oikos Greek Yogurt in Vanilla and Blueberry
• Annie's Mac and Cheese (on sale for a buck!)

After the grocery store, I was ready for some lunch. So, like I said I had to try out the new flat out wraps. Usually when I make wraps I put lots of "condiments" such as spicy mustard and salsa and then heat it up, so its kinda gooey and spicy. Today I was feelin' more of a fresh, clean, cold wrap. Heres what I came up with:

• Sundried Tomato Flat Out Wrap
• Regular Hummus
• Turkey Slices
• Chopped Tomato
• Sliced Cucumber

On top of this I added tons of spinach and rolled it up to create this:

Totally hit the spot :)

Review of Sundried Tomato Flavor Flatout:

This was the first time that I have tried this flavor, and I was pretty let down. Don't get me wrong, it wasnt BAD...but I thought that it was gonna be AMAZING! Maybe I built it up too much, but I was not impressed. The Italian Herb flavor is 10 times better, so I think I will stick to that. I will not buy this flavor again. It was my least favorite of the three flavors I have tried.

After lunch I got ready and went to job #1 (Rave) until around 930, when my cute little baseball player came and picked me up and took me to the movies. We saw I Love You, Man. And it was hilarious. I have been in love with Paul Rudd ever since he was Josh in Clueless. haha. The date went really well...and I even think that I am going out with him for date #3 tonight! He is leaving to go back to school tomorrow, so we are kinda "speed" dating.

This morning I woke up to a beautiful sunny day, just as my favorite weather man had promised. I ate breakfast (cottage cheese and toast) you know, you know. Then headed over to my favorite trail for a run. I was ready for a long run, because I had taken the past two days off after my 7.5 mile run two days ago. I DID 9 MILES!! This is a new record as far as distance for me, and I was happy with it. I finished in a little over 90 minutes. Heck yes, my endurance is building...I never thought it would happen!

I have said this before and I will say it again, in my totally not back up by any scientific evidence opinion , Peanut butter and banana are the PERFECT combo for energy and fuel after a long run. Or at least thats what works best for me. So of course I had to have this little number for lunch after my long run.

Grilled "Gourmet" PB&J:

• Whole Wheat Bread
• Naturally Nutty Peanut Butter (2 tbsp.)
• 1/2 Banana
• Cinnamon and Raisins mixed into the peanut butter
• Strawberry Preserves

Blueberry Flavored Oikos Greek Yogurt

This is the first time that I have tried the Blueberry flavor and WOW! This stuff is freakin' amazing. It had little blueberries in it and everything. I think so far it is my favorite!

Now I have to book it to get ready for work, so I'll catch you gals later!

Lots of Love, <3 Ems.

Serving My Favorite Food

Oh my gosh! Last night was totally crazy. Starting out at a popular weekend hangout on a Friday night was def. overwhelming, but I actually liked it. I get bored so easily, so I need a job where I keep moving and always have something to do. It makes the time go by really fast, and I was done with my first night before I even knew it. I'm gonna break down the night just so I dont have a huge block of writing for you all to read through!

• We can wear whatever we want as long as it is a black top, other than that anything goes. Even with the top as long as its black it can be a t-shirt, tank top, whatever. That is AWESOME! You can even chew gum, wear your hair down, and wear whatever kinda jewelry you want.
• I get 1/2 off sushi, 1/2 off meals, 25% off alcohol, and free admission to any of their events. They have some really HUGE events like rail jams, "white" parties, magazine launches, and they have a band every Friday and Saturday.
• I got to sample all of the great food that I have never tried before!

The only bad thing is that the menu is so CONFUSING! They don't just serve sushi (which is hard enough to remember all those different rolls) but they have a full grill too AND a full bar! My trainer gave me a to-go menu and wrote little notes all over it for me to learn, just look!

Im def. going to be studying that all weekend. And probably goggling pictures of the food so I know what they look like :)

Ok anywho, before work I had to do a TON of running around, because my friend Jenni is having a baby shower today and I wanted to get her something great. I ended up going to four different places before I found a gift! After all that I came home for some lunch!

Turkey sammie, celery, broccoli, and cauliflower.

Close-Up/Break-Down:

• Wheat Bread
• Garlic and Artichoke Hummus
• Turkey
• Spicy Mustard
• Spinach
• Cucumber

When I got home from work last night I was starving, so I fixed up something quick and easy:

• Kashi Pilaf
• Bit o Hummus
• Sauteed Spinach
• Salad (not pictured)

Now on to the fun part...the fearless and fabulous Miss Jaime tagged me! Here are the rules:

The rules are as follows: List 7 things that you love, and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you love! Be sure to tag them and let them know that they have won. You can copy the picture of the award and paste it on your sidebar letting the whole world know…you are Kreativ! Soooo here goes:

1. My Family:

I truely am so blessed to have the BEST sisters in the world! We are all so close and whenever we get together you can bet we are laughing and having the best time. My sister Allie (middle) is 19 and we have a great friendship. We hang out together and she was one of my biggest support systems when I was going through my hardest times. She went to group therapy with me, talked to me, and was there when I needed her, more than anyone else.

And of course my parents, who are THE BEST. I am also so lucky to have two loving parents that do everything that they can to provide and take care of us all. My mom is my best friend and my dad is my hero :)

ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

2. My Second Family (AKA Rave Co-Workers)

This was when my manager Stephanie got married and that is all the girls. I know that I have talked about them before, but I can not say enough about how much I love them. I feel like I really found my place when I got a job there almost two years ago. I really clicked with every single one of the girls there and now they are my best friends. They also were HUGE supports when I was at my worst time with my ED. They helped me through it and they still are the first people I talk to when I have a problem or need good advice. I make sure that I tell them all how much I love them every time I see them.

And when we all get together and go out on the town?! You can BET we have fun and are the life of the party! We know how to do it right!

3. My Best Friends

First of all let me just say, I'm picky about my friends. I have had alot of friends come and go because they just are not good people for me. The friends that I surround myself with now are only the BEST. They are all the greatest people you will ever meet. They are kind, fun, and would be there for me in a flash if I needed them...and they know that I would do the same.

Thats one of my best friends, Jenie and her boy Chris. They are having a baby in less than a month! I am going to her baby shower today! She is from Korea and one of the sweetest, most interesting people that I have ever met.

Did I mention that we also have a freakin' blast together?!

4. Running

Running has also been something that I have been so lucky to discover. It really is therapeutic! It helps me think through my day, blow off steam, and energize me for all those fun times with the friends. Oh yeah, and its also freakin awesome bragging rights that I recently ran a 10k. Next up?! Half marathon!!

5. The Beach

I have been to both coasts! Above: Venice Beach, CA. (West Coast). Below: Panama City, FL (East Coast) During MTV's Spring Break last year!

No where else on earth could make me feel more relaxed and wonderful then the beach. Charleston, specifically has been like a second home to me and I hope to one day live there. Its my life goal. :)

6. Teaching

I have always had a special connection with children (maybe its because I am just a huge kid myself) And I love the rewards of teaching children something that they did not know before. Seeing their faces light up because of something that you taught them is one of the most wonderful experiences that I have ever had.

haha. Cracks me up everytime!

7. Shopping

Clothes shopping, grocery shopping, housewares shopping, shopping, shopping, shopping, I LOVE SHOPPING. Ever heard of shopping therapy?! Um yeah...its what I do.

AND OF COURSE I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ON OF YOU! I FEEL SO BLESSED TO BE A PART OF SUCH A LOVING AND SUPPORTING COMMUNITY. I HAVE MET SOME GREAT FRIENDS THROUGH BLOGGING AND HOPE THE FRIENDSHIPS CONTINUE TO GROW. :)

Wow! This took me a good hour to complete, hope you enjoyed it! Now I gotta get ready for the baby shower!

Lots of Love, <3 Ems.

Two Down, One To Go...

Well peeps, I have made it through two interviews this week and now I'm waiting for my last one in about a hour. I'm telling you its been so rough and discouraging. I'm not really doing as well on the interviews as I would have hoped, and then when I do think that I do good I don't get the response that I expected. Yesterday's interview was just horrible, so I'm pretty sure I messed that one up. And then the interview that I had today I thought went really really well. Both while I was waiting to be interviewed I was listening to the guy that was being interviewed before me, and they hired him right on the spot. But me? they said they would call me next week. So, I dont know about that. The interview tonight is my second interview so I'm thinking that's a good sign. But its just a serving position at this little hip restaurant downtown. But a jobs a job, I guess and it is a really cool place. I probably won't be finding a teaching position until the beginning of the next school year, since summer is coming up soon. So, I need something to bring in the cash flow while I wait. ;)

Keeping with the warm weather theme, I wanted something cold for brekkie this morning...so I had some cereal!

• 1 Cup All-Bran Flakes
• 1/2 Nanner
• Cinnamon
• Blueberries!

For lunch I wanted something for my sweet tooth. Whenever I get a sweet craving for lunch I always fix up a yummy grilled peanut butter and Jayjay.

• Grilled Honey Wheat Toast
• 2 Tbsp. Mighty Maple Peanut Butter
• Other half of the 'Nanner from brekkie
• Blackberry Preserves
• Cinnamon

I wanted to try Chobani flavor #2. I have heard rave reviews of the blueberry flavor, so I decided this was the one for me today.

I added some chopped up strawberries, just cause.

Ok guys, I know that you all LOVE the Chobani, but I must say that while I do like it a lot, I think that I like the Oikos better. Its just thicker and creamier. But then again, I haven't tried the plain Chobani, so it might be a little thicker since it doesnt have the liquid fruit flavoring at the bottom. I think that if you were trying to ease someone into greek yogurt that Chobani would def. do the trick. But for someone who has been eating greek yogurt for a while, I have kind of built up a taste for the thicker kinds.

Now I have to freshen up and head out for my THIRD interview in the past 36 hours. This whole "job hunt" thing is really starting to wear on me. I feel like I have definitely at this really hard cross road in my life right now, and I still haven't decided which way I want to go. I have a lot of options that I have been considering and have made steps towards all of them, just to see what pans out. I need everyone's prays and support right now, its a pretty hard/confusing time! Right now my options include:

1. Grad School for my Masters in Education
• Steps towards this: I have signed up to take the GRE (which is like the ACT for grad school) and I take it next Tuesday. I have also applied for scholarships and financial aid.
• Pros: It will help me build up my credentials for a better chance at scoring a teaching job when I graduate with my masters. Also, the economy will hopefully be better when I get out of school
• Cons: I'm not sure if I want to continue with education, or do something else. I'm not sure if I would be able to pay for it.
2. Pursuing a second degree in Nutrition:
• Steps toward this: I have met with the nutrition director of my old college and reapplied for admission to ETSU for a 2nd degree.
• Pros: Nutrition is something that I am way interested in and would love to pursue it. Also, I think that with 2 degrees I will have more of a range when looking for a job.
• Cons: I'm sort of ready for a change of scenery and don't really want to go back to the same school I just graduated from.
3. Continuing in my job search for a teaching position:
• Steps towards this: Put in multiple applications and gone to interviews. Also, I am attending a job fair in April in Nashville for teachers.
• Pros: Well, obv. its what I set out to in the first place and it would be nice to be settled with a career (and steady paycheck).
• Cons: It's so hard to find and job with the economy how it is and nothing is guaranteed. Also, I'm not 100% sure that I am ready to settle into a career just yet.

So there you have it. This are the issues that have really been weighing on me lately. I know that everything will work out the way that they are supposed to, but it is just so hard and confusing! Any advise?!

Woah! I wrote way too much...I gotta RUN! I'll let you guys know how this interview goes when i get back!

Lots of Love <3 Ems.

Edited to add: I just got home from my last interview and I got the job! I start on Friday. Its just that job as a server at that little resturuant, but it will have to do for now. I need some cash flowage, so hopefully this will help while i decide what the HELL I wanna do with my life! Thanks for all the postive comments guys, you always put a bright spot in my bad days, it is much appreciated. PLUS, it totally made me day to hear that Katie thought I looked like Elisha Cuthbert :)

Rain, Rants, and Running...

In honor of the first day of spring break (not that I am still in school...but I do sub, so that counts right?) I made up a wonderful breakfast, worthy of a saturday morning, except it was monday...and there is nothing wrong with that in my book. ;)

French Toast with Blueberries and Maple Syrup

After breakfast I hit up the gym. There is a story behind this girlies. I have FALLEN in love with running, ok I have always loved running, but after running my first 10K and seeing that I could do it, I have gained confidence to really get serious about running! SO, I am starting a training program to help me run a faster 10K. I ran the first in just over an hour, so I want to aim for less than an hour next time. Anywho, today I started day one of the eight week training. I was scheduled to run 3 miles today and add some strength training as well. My workout today included:

• 3 miles at a 10 minute mile pace, then a 5 minute cool down.
• Series of arm workouts on the machines, 3 sets of 10 reps each.
• 30 minutes of yoga (to stretch and cool down)

Ok, I have a question for all you runners out there. I know that it is important to not overtrain and to start out slow, but I am used to getting in more of a workout than this. Can I add another form of cardio, as long as its low impact on my legs? Or is it important to only stick with the running schedule when your training? I know when I do long runs I will only do that, and I do have days on the schedule for cross training, but when I only run 3 miles, I feel like I could still do more of a workout. So what is the protocol on that?

When I got home from the gym I fixed up a quick lunch:

I was craving peanut butter BIG TIME today! This sammie includes:

• Mighty Maple PB (as seen hangin' in the back)
• Whole Wheat Bread
• Strawberry Preserves
• Sliced Granny Smith Apple
• Blueberries

And some fat free pineapple yogurt on the side:

Weird food confession: I think it is DE-LISH to dip my PB & J in my yogurt. Think its crazy?! try it!

After lunch I met the mom and little sissy to see a movie starring these boys that you may or may not be familiar with:

I must admit that I have never really been a big fan (I think I'm a little old) haha. The movie did remind me of the Beatles movies, but that kind of pissed me off. haha. I DO think the youngest one is a cutie, though. And that creeped me out a little, when I learned that he is only 17.

I came home and have been taking it easy all day! It is soooo rainy and gloomy outside that all I wanna do is stay inside with some hot tea! The only thing about staying home is that the roommate situation is growing more and more annoying with every second! All she does is pace the floor and pop a strawberry or something like that every time she gets hungry! I want to yell at her "JUST EAT SOMETHING STUPID!!". Some of you asked me if it was triggering, and it is not, just annoying. Actually it is almost the opposite of triggering, because I love coming home from the gym and eating a nice big PB & J and feeling HEALTHY and GOOD about my body, while she paces around waiting for her scheduled time to eat an apple, or like 5 shrimp. GEEZ! Also, some of you asked if she knew about my struggles and she does. actually I remained silent for a while, the whole time she made little jokes such as "Im glad im bulemic" while eating a big piece of cake, or after eating a big meal out saying "after this im going anorexic", until I finally could not take it anymore and I told her what I had gone through and that jokes like that made me very uncomfortable and offended. She stopped joking about it, but now its this! And it wouldnt be SO bad, if she would just shut the hell up about it! She wants to talk to me about it everytime Im home, and it makes me just want to leave! Right now, Im in my room with the door closed. haha. I have told her that I do not think it is healthy, but I dont think it helps. I guess I'll just have to ignore it and go about my healthy, happy lifestyle.

Sorry for the rant, I promise thats all I am going to say about it! Im off the make dinner, take a shower, and watch The City.

Tomorrow is St. Patricks Day!! I hope I have something green to wear! Anyone have plans?!

To Sub or Not to Sub

Ohhhh no, I am totally freaking out because I have my first "subbing" assignment tomorrow morning and I can not decide if I really wanna do it or not. It supposed to be for a 8th grade English class, but I am SO not used to teaching older kids, and you guys KNOW how middle schoolers are, especially with substitute teachers. I just dont know if I really want to put myself in that position or not! I just can't decide!! What do you think?!

Anyway onto the EATS! Lunch was a grilled sammie with a granny smith apple on the side:

Close-up/Break-down:

• 2 Slices Wheat Bread
• Red Pepper Hummus
• Salsa
• Spinach
• Onions
• Spicey Mustard
• Deli Turkey

Dinner:

• Kashi Moroccan Curry Pilaf
• Sauteed Mushrooms and Spinach

Sorry for the quick/boring post, but thats all I've got for today. My mind is flooded with this subbing thing I've got going on. Any advice/tips/words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

Happy Hump Day! Lots of Love, <3 Ems.