Wednesday, May 27, 2009

One Small Step

Ok, so you know that crazy feeling that I said that I have been getting about something exciting happening?! Well, it has gotten even more weird!

I don't know how many of you really believe in "signs" or anything like that. But I sure do. So I have been getting that feeling for a few days now and then two nights ago I had the craziest dream!

It was about my ex boyfriend. And not just any ex...THE ex. Im not sure if I have mentioned him on here before. We dated for about 3 years at the end of highschool and beginning of college. This is the guy that I though I was going to be with for forever. And when we broke up I was devastated. I went though a really hard time with, and we even discussed him a lot in therapy as a possible trigger for my eating disorder (feeling out of control about the breakup and needing to counteract it with the control of my body). Not saying that he was the SOLE reason, but def. a part of it.

Basically my dream was about just letting him go. For good. I have hung on to that relationship for years, and compared every other boy to him. When I woke up I knew it was time for to move on. If I was going to go any further with my life, I had to let him go.


I have kept this box of notes and pictures from when were together for forever...yesterday I pulled it out, and without thinking twice about it, I threw it in the dumpster at work last night. I am moving on now, I have let that part of my life go, and I'm not gonna compare any more. Its time for something NEW!

Ok, I hope you guys don't think that I am absolutely crazy or anything now. haha. It is just one of those things that I had to deal with.

Onto EATS!

Of course I had my blogs and oats in the morning before going to school to be the art teacher.


I made sure to get several bits of info into one picture...banana oats, blogs on the laptop, fave flannel pj pants, early as HELL!, cup of coffee, and animal print pillow (of course). Its almost like a page out of I Spy!

Then it was my packed lunch at my desk


Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Peanut Butter (FAVE!), Blackberry Preserves, Banana, on Honey Wheat Bread, and some Honey Wheat Pretzels. With a little side of "Plans for the Sub".

After I subbed I had to work at the Rave last night. I will be doing this for the next three days!! That is a total of 40.5 hours of work in 4 days!!! But after that I leave for the beach, so I will have plenty of time to recuperate.

When I went into work I noticed that we had gotten in the cutest new top! I figured since I have been straight workin my ass off, I deserved a new top...the best part?! It has a unique back (of course!) :)


This is a picture of the back of the shirt. OH SO BEACHY!

Alright guys...gotta JET! I am a teacher by day and a raver by night! haha. WISH ME LUCK!

Hope everyone has a Happy Hump Day!

Lots of Love <3 Ems.


Mica said...

That sounds like healthy closure to me! Good for you, lady! I bet it's like a weight off your chest.

Now...about this insane work week: Please don't drop dead from exhaustion!

itsawrapteacher said...

What a crazy dream about your ex. It does sound like we had a similar experience but you are a much stronger person for being able to let go and have that closure.I hope I can have one of those dreams to wake me up!

Great top! Good luck with those kiddos!

Cacti Don't Cry said...

I don't think you're crazy at all!! While I have emotionally let go of my ex, I still have the "stash" buried in my closet, and I should just do what you did and get rid of it... but I don't want to have to look at it again, and throwing it out would require that. :p ANYWAY. I'm glad you got the closure you needed!!

Hopefully your crazy week will go by quickly!!

<3 <3

RunningLaur said...

Throwing it all out it fantastic! I can see you having some good celebrations for it at the beach ;)

Anonymous said...

Closure is a wonderful thing! I basically had the same thoughts (and sounds like the same ex!) during the same time period... hard to finally let it go but I'm so proud of you. Definitely deserve that hot top!

Bec said...

love the new top and that you feel you have new found closer now! Thats a crazy work schedule you have right now but think of all the $$$$$$

Amanda said...

yay closure! it's so important but often times really hard to get. that was one good dream!

and cute top, (as always)

have a good day!

Anonymous said...

You definitely deserve that shirt.. it's SOOOO cute too!!! Good luck finishing out the rest of the week, you can make it!

Jenny said...

so proud of you for being to let go and start over with a clean slate girlie - leave the past in the past and look forward to a bright new future <3 you are an incredibly strong person and i know you will find all of the happiness in the world!

fabulous shirt babe - i love your little double light.. *teacher by day, raver by night* you're a riot beautiful :)

love you so much!
xoxo, Jenny

Anonymous said...

mmmmm that sandwich sounds delish. I've never tried that cinnamon raisin PB. Gotta get me some of that!

janetha said...

wow em that was bold to trash all those things. a real sign of truly letting go and moving on, it must have been a hard thing to do. i still hang onto a lot of old stuff that once had sentimental value.. even though i have a different boyfriend now, i just am weird and keep EVERYTHING always.

dang that is a lot of hours.. so yes, you def deserved the new purchase! super cute.

have fun with your double timing.. i hope you make it out in 1 piece! xoxo

ellie said...

sounds like a really important step you took in getting some closure on that chapter of your life- KUDOS!

Your work week is insane... :( hope you have some fun relaxing plans for the weekend!

loving the "I Spy" picture (I ate breakfast before 5 this morning so yours seems pretty reasonable to me!)

Emma said...

Although it might be hard, and you may regret it tomorrow, I'm so glad that the dream/the closure happened! It is so important to move on and start living in the moment - I wish you the best!

I hope the week treats you well. Don't stress to much - look forward to the beach (of which I'm TOTALLY jealous). :)


Amy said...

I'm all about tossing things that you no longer need in your life. GOOD FOR YOU! Sometimes it's hard to let go, but you won't miss it in the long run. It made you who you are today but now you're moving forward!!

Love the new top! You always have the cutest clothes.

Anna said...

That's such a cute top! I'm so envious that you get first dibs on all the cute inventory that comes through. No missing out on your size and you always get the color you want.

Anonymous said...

Good for you! It is hard to let go sometimes, but when you're ready it can feel like such a relief :) I hope you are feeling good about yourself, it sounds like a really big step forward!
Wow, 40.5 hours in 4 days? I hope you get a day off soon!

Anonymous said...

love the blue shirt!!

i think its so weird how sometimes your dreams remind you of something you need to let go or move on from. creepy.

great eats - love the oats!

Anonymous said...

That lunch looks absolutely delicious!!! I've been seeing blackberry preserves all over lately, I definitely need to try some!!

Good luck with all this work, hope you can get some rest soon!

Meg said...

Hi beautiful! Amen for closure and moving on for good. Something that I really look at as motivation for myself too. I really miss my ex and everything we had, but it's in the past and I know there's better things (and people) that lie ahead, and there's a reason it didn't work out. Life's funny like that. But I hope that exciting event happens to you real soon, cause I cannot wait to hear about it!

That shirt is adorable! You have the cutest outfits ever, and you are absolutely gorgeous, so I know they'll always look even better on you! I hope you aren't too stressed about working this week, remember to take some 'me' time everyday.

Have a great week!


just me said...

that closure sounds good to me! i did the same thing after i was broken up with mid last year...BURNED EVERYTHING. It was glamorous!

Gillian Young said...

I love your choice in tops and this is a great back! Always nice to leave the room with a bit of a statement! Where do you buy most of your tops? I tend to splurge on Guess tops when I've been making some cash, they tend to be very flirty with cute details.

Jaime said...

thats awesome you were able to throw that box away-- its really important to do things like that in order to really just move on and forget-- i'm sure you feel 100000% better!!

LOVE your PB n J sammie! and your new top is bangin!! xoxo

The Novice Berker said...

Dude, power to you for throwing away that box, considering how long you kept it for. That's some important closure right there; I'm glad you got so much insight from your dream.

The top is fantastic! Loveee the hot back details. ;)

Anonymous said...

What an interesting dream! Sounds like your sub-conscious is agreeing with the logical side of your conscious self - time to let go! What a bold move to throw out the box - you go girl!!

I love your top! Great colour!

Anonymous said...

gotta love those signs that tell us what to do when we truely NNEEEDD it!
glad you found peace and closure and empowerment in chucking that shat!

have fun with the kiddies today!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a good, healthy way to get closure. I still keep mementos from my "the ex" and don't know if I could do that.

Brooke said...

Way to say peaceout to the bf! Dreams are so important to listen to. My mom is a dream fanatic and is always interpreting them! She would def have told you to pick up the box and toss it! Closure is so important in lives, it's crazy!

CUTE shirt ms. teacha!

Baylee♥ said...

girly girly girl! i apologize for commenting so freakin late on your blog!!! gahh bad blogger!!

ANYWAYS....YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Okay, im done now! But that is absolutely wonderful! It is so hard to let go of things like that - sometimes you KNOW nothing is ever going to come out of it again - but you hold onto the dream that some miraculous thing will happen and you will end up together again - and you hold onto those things, just in case. But..usually thats not reality, as much as we want to hope, dream, wish, pray, etc...that we will end up with that person again, EVEN THOUGH..we know that person wasnt the best for us. Sometimes we just need to let go of things to make ourselves better. You will not need those pictures, letters, notes, etc in the future to make your life better, and definately will not need them in the future to make your life with some other lucky guy better. YOU DONT NEED THEM. That being said, I am going upstairs to grab my box of 'charlie stuff' and toss it in the garbage. thank you :)

Lovely Lacey said...

Yay to you for getting closure!

Cinnamon raisin peanut butter is my fave!!!