One Small Step

Ok, so you know that crazy feeling that I said that I have been getting about something exciting happening?! Well, it has gotten even more weird!

I don't know how many of you really believe in "signs" or anything like that. But I sure do. So I have been getting that feeling for a few days now and then two nights ago I had the craziest dream!

It was about my ex boyfriend. And not just any ex...THE ex. Im not sure if I have mentioned him on here before. We dated for about 3 years at the end of highschool and beginning of college. This is the guy that I though I was going to be with for forever. And when we broke up I was devastated. I went though a really hard time with, and we even discussed him a lot in therapy as a possible trigger for my eating disorder (feeling out of control about the breakup and needing to counteract it with the control of my body). Not saying that he was the SOLE reason, but def. a part of it.

Basically my dream was about just letting him go. For good. I have hung on to that relationship for years, and compared every other boy to him. When I woke up I knew it was time for to move on. If I was going to go any further with my life, I had to let him go.

I have kept this box of notes and pictures from when were together for forever...yesterday I pulled it out, and without thinking twice about it, I threw it in the dumpster at work last night. I am moving on now, I have let that part of my life go, and I'm not gonna compare any more. Its time for something NEW!

Ok, I hope you guys don't think that I am absolutely crazy or anything now. haha. It is just one of those things that I had to deal with.

Onto EATS!

Of course I had my blogs and oats in the morning before going to school to be the art teacher.

I made sure to get several bits of info into one picture...banana oats, blogs on the laptop, fave flannel pj pants, early as HELL!, cup of coffee, and animal print pillow (of course). Its almost like a page out of I Spy!

Then it was my packed lunch at my desk

Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Peanut Butter (FAVE!), Blackberry Preserves, Banana, on Honey Wheat Bread, and some Honey Wheat Pretzels. With a little side of "Plans for the Sub".

After I subbed I had to work at the Rave last night. I will be doing this for the next three days!! That is a total of 40.5 hours of work in 4 days!!! But after that I leave for the beach, so I will have plenty of time to recuperate.

When I went into work I noticed that we had gotten in the cutest new top! I figured since I have been straight workin my ass off, I deserved a new top...the best part?! It has a unique back (of course!) :)

This is a picture of the back of the shirt. OH SO BEACHY!

Alright guys...gotta JET! I am a teacher by day and a raver by night! haha. WISH ME LUCK!

Hope everyone has a Happy Hump Day!

Lots of Love <3 Ems.

Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture

Oh man! This weekend has just been crrazzzyy! I feel like I have pretty much gone non-stop. But I kept getting invites to do things, and if you know me you know I am always up for a fun time and when one of my friends wants to go out, I rarely say no.

Last night my friend Tina wanted to go out on the town, so of course she didn't have to twist my arm. Do I feel some pics about to go down?! I do think so.

We met up with some friends at a local bar downtown.

We laughed sooo hard at this picture because Josh failed at every attempt to take a decent picture. This was his worst shot. haha he is actually pretty cute, but he looks like a creep-o in this picture. Here are several more attempts.

Then I had to show him just how a great picture is taken:

As the night went on several more people showed up to hang out and I saw a lot of old friends. I tend to put the camera away after a few drinks though, because things tend to get a little difficult to keep up with after that. haha.

P.S. Aren't the little Polaroid cool? My friends told me about this program that you can find and download here. I just love it! Its so cool, this little camera pops up and all you do is drag and drop your pictures into the camera and out pops your Polaroid from your camera. Of course, you have to wait for the picture to develop. No shaking!

Today is a catch up day for sure, after that wild weekend. I woke up and fixed up some blueberry waffles with sliced banana and strawberries and maple syrup.

Then for lunch I was craving something just warm and good and comforting. What did I come up with?!

Grilled Peanut Butter and Banana DUH!

And just to show the ooey gooey goodness of the sandwich I present to you evidence #1

mmmmm

Also, this morning I was surfing the web for some owl tattoo ideas and check out what I found!

Its the tattoo that I described! An owl with the text "carpe diem", except I want "carpe noctem" and I want it a little smaller...and def somewhere less noticeable than smack dab on my arm. But other than that, thats it! I kinda thought it was an original idea, but guess not. haha. I still like it though...what do you guys think?

Ok Now its time for cleaning, running, tanning, and shopping with the sis. Then I gotta get up early to substitute teach for a Kindergarten class. AHH!!!

Hope everyone is having an awesome, relaxing Sunday.

Lots of Love, <3 Ems.

Good News and Bad News

Oh yes everyone it is officially Hump Day. For those of you lucky enough to have a Monday through Friday job you are half-way there! For me however, I havent even started this week yet! I have had Monday through Wednesday off this week, but starting tomorrow I work everyday until Sunday. That is if I still have a job!! The conflict STILL has not been settled between my two jobs. I have really only talked to Rave about this, but if Stir-fry doesn't wanna work with me on the scheduling, then it will have to come down to a choice between the two. I was literally in tears yesterday trying to work it all out. Its such a hard position to be in because one job (Rave) I'm absolutely in love with and love all the people, but make no money...and the other job (stir-fry) I'm not even sure that I will like, but will make more money. What do I do?!!

I do have some more positive news however. Today I get to go see Lucas! He is playing a baseball game at a college that is only about 30 minutes away, and he gets to pitch this game, so I told him that I would definitely be there. I have never gotten to see him play before, so it should be fun. PLUS I might just get to sneak in a pic or two, Jen! ;)

Yesterday for dinner I decided to try one of the new Healthy Choice meals, after hearing Katie talking about them on her blog.

I tried the Portabella Marsala Pasta, Here is the box:

Here's the Nutrition:

Serving size: 1 Meal (9 oz.)

Calories: 270
Calories from fat: 70

Amount/Serving %DV*
Total Fat (7 g) 11%
Saturated Fat (2.5 g) 13%
Trans Fat (0 g)
Cholesterol (15 mg) 5%
Sodium (550 mg) 23%
Vitamin A 0%
Calcium 10%

Total Carbohydrates (38 g) 13%
Dietary Fiber (5 g) 20%
Sugar (4 g)
Protein (12 g)
Vitamin C (0%)
Iron (6%)

And here is what it looks like all plated up:

Review:

It kind of reminded me of a stroganoff, which I love. But I just didn't really care for this one. There was a layer of cheese on top that just sort of got this super weird texture after you cooked it. You know the type that just adheres to your fork and won't let go?! The one thing that I did like about this was that they did not skimp on the mushrooms. At first, I was going to add a little more of my own, but after seeing the meal I decided that it looked like it had plenty! Very rarely do you see a microwave meal that has plenty of any ingredient. I will probably not purchase this one again, but I do want to try some of the others. I give it a 6 out of 10.

The salad I had on the side however, is a solid DIME!

I always stick to the "colors rule" and try to incorporate lots of different colors into my salad. Nothing is more boring then a salad full of all greens. And I am just lovin the purple cauliflower as of late.

Backtracking to lunch I had my "pre-workout" fuel. I still swear by it:

Grilled Peanut Butter and Banana with Strawberry Preserves, and a few Honey Twist Pretzels on the side.

Note: While the sandwich def. gives me the fuel that I need for a workout, I would not recommend eating pretzels with it before working out. The saltiness of the pretzels made me more dehydrated during the run, and I had to drink about 3 bottles of water in one 30 minute run! haha.

I got to the gym late, which is one thing in life that I try to aviod at all costs. Because it is a college gym the later you go the more people and the less serious they are about actually working out. I had to wait for an ET, wait for a treadmill, wait to fill up my water bottle, etc, etc. But it actually turned out to be a good thing because I got in a pretty killer workout!

• 35 minutes on the eliptical
• 10 minutes on the squirrel thing?? - i did this to occupy my time while waiting for a treadmill, but this burned almost 150 extra calories!
• 3 miles on the treadmill, average pace was about 10 minutes a mile, but I bumped it up to 9 minutes for the last mile.

Speaking of workouts, I have to go get in an early one before coming home to shower and go to the baseball game :) So, Im off!

Hope everyone is having a good "Mid-Week" Lots of Love,

<3 Ems.

Grocery Goodies, Reviews, and Runs

Ok, so I'm pretty sure that today actually is Saturday as opposed to yesterday, when I tried to declare it Saturday morning, when in fact, it was Friday. So, I hope everyone is having a great Saturday! So far, mine is going great. Its sunny and warm outside and I just got done with a great run and a great lunch for fuel!

Lets back track to yesterday though. Before work I went to the grocery store for some essentials. We were practically out of everything, so I picked up some basics.

Fruits:

• Bananas
• Blueberries
• Strawberries
• Grapes
• Mangos
• Fuji Apples

Veggies:

• Roma Tomatoes
• Purple Cauliflower! I couldnt resist :)
• Cucumber
• Salad Mix

I found a new flavor of flat out wraps that I have not tried yet. Sundried Tomato. I had it for lunch, so I will give my review.

Miscellaneous Items:

• Oikos Greek Yogurt in Vanilla and Blueberry
• Annie's Mac and Cheese (on sale for a buck!)

After the grocery store, I was ready for some lunch. So, like I said I had to try out the new flat out wraps. Usually when I make wraps I put lots of "condiments" such as spicy mustard and salsa and then heat it up, so its kinda gooey and spicy. Today I was feelin' more of a fresh, clean, cold wrap. Heres what I came up with:

• Sundried Tomato Flat Out Wrap
• Regular Hummus
• Turkey Slices
• Chopped Tomato
• Sliced Cucumber

On top of this I added tons of spinach and rolled it up to create this:

Totally hit the spot :)

Review of Sundried Tomato Flavor Flatout:

This was the first time that I have tried this flavor, and I was pretty let down. Don't get me wrong, it wasnt BAD...but I thought that it was gonna be AMAZING! Maybe I built it up too much, but I was not impressed. The Italian Herb flavor is 10 times better, so I think I will stick to that. I will not buy this flavor again. It was my least favorite of the three flavors I have tried.

After lunch I got ready and went to job #1 (Rave) until around 930, when my cute little baseball player came and picked me up and took me to the movies. We saw I Love You, Man. And it was hilarious. I have been in love with Paul Rudd ever since he was Josh in Clueless. haha. The date went really well...and I even think that I am going out with him for date #3 tonight! He is leaving to go back to school tomorrow, so we are kinda "speed" dating.

This morning I woke up to a beautiful sunny day, just as my favorite weather man had promised. I ate breakfast (cottage cheese and toast) you know, you know. Then headed over to my favorite trail for a run. I was ready for a long run, because I had taken the past two days off after my 7.5 mile run two days ago. I DID 9 MILES!! This is a new record as far as distance for me, and I was happy with it. I finished in a little over 90 minutes. Heck yes, my endurance is building...I never thought it would happen!

I have said this before and I will say it again, in my totally not back up by any scientific evidence opinion , Peanut butter and banana are the PERFECT combo for energy and fuel after a long run. Or at least thats what works best for me. So of course I had to have this little number for lunch after my long run.

Grilled "Gourmet" PB&J:

• Whole Wheat Bread
• Naturally Nutty Peanut Butter (2 tbsp.)
• 1/2 Banana
• Cinnamon and Raisins mixed into the peanut butter
• Strawberry Preserves

Blueberry Flavored Oikos Greek Yogurt

This is the first time that I have tried the Blueberry flavor and WOW! This stuff is freakin' amazing. It had little blueberries in it and everything. I think so far it is my favorite!

Now I have to book it to get ready for work, so I'll catch you gals later!

Lots of Love, <3 Ems.

Extra! Extra!

Ok a couple of topics to be addressed in this post! I feel like I have gotten so behind and been such a tease with all of my posts! So this is like a full newspaper-esque report on what has been up!

First things first: Mommy tries POM Wonderful:

As you know, I have been sharing some of my healthy food with my mother to get her back into healthier eating. I have recently got into oats for breakfast, flat out wraps, and now POM Wonderful. She refused to let me take her picture, BOO! But here is her review anyway. Like I had said before I am a pretty big fan of cranberry juice, and my mom is too. She also compared it that but said that it had a more "tart" flavor. She said that she liked it a lot and wanted to try some of the recipes that I showed her on the website. She was most interested in trying the POM Jelly because she has been talking about wanting to make her own jelly. I gave her about half of my supply, and she loves trying new recipes...so i cant wait to see what she come up with. And I'll def. keep you guys posted!

Second: LUNCH!

Im calling this my Gourmet PB and J. Just because, its awesome. It includes:

• 2 Slices of Wheat Bread
• 2 Tbsp. Naturally More Peanut Butter
• 1/2 Banana
• Raisins
• Strawberry Jelly
• Real Strawberries chopped up.

OH YUM! This hit the spot! And I swear that peanut butter and banana are the perfect combo to fuel up for a run, because I KILLED it today...which brings me to my next topic...

Today's Run: 7.5 miles!! woo hoo! I was super bummed today because when I woke up it was rainy and crappy outside. I had pretty much settled on the fact that I was just gonna have to go to the gym. But after i had my lunch the sun had decided to show its beautiful face...and I knew I just HAD to go run on my trial. One thing that I love about running is how everyone seems to be best friends that runs on the same trial. Whether you know the person or not, its almost like there is some sort of connection with them and people always smile or wave or say something as you run by. Today I had the hugest smile on my face because everyone I ran by was so friendly! I decided to just run until I got tired and I ended up going 7 and half miles. I was happy with this...my legs are not. I guess I can look forward to being sore tomorrow!

Next Topic: The Boy: I had mentioned something about this in an earlier post and a couple of you had asked me about it. One of the reasons that I didn't really go into details is because its a SUPER long story. But I'll sum it up. Things did not work out with Mike. I didn't say anything about it on here, because I just didn't wanna really get into it, but its been over for a couple of months. Anyway, two weekends ago an old friend that I have known for a couple of years just popped back into my life (funny how things like that happen huh?) His name is Lucas and he pretty much told me that he had liked me years, but didn't say anything because of Mike. We are taking things slow, so I'm not going to get too worked up about until I see how things go. He plays baseball for a college that is about 2 hours away, so I have not seen him since that weekend. He is coming home tomorrow and I have a date with him tomorrow night AND Friday night. We'll see how it goes. :)

I feel like there was more I needed to share...was there?!

Well, tonight is Wednesday and you know what that means...POOL NIGHT! So I'm off to get ready, eat dinner, and then go KILL some boys in pool...cause thats how I do.

Hope everyone is having a great night! Lots of Love <3 Ems.

Two Down, One To Go...

Well peeps, I have made it through two interviews this week and now I'm waiting for my last one in about a hour. I'm telling you its been so rough and discouraging. I'm not really doing as well on the interviews as I would have hoped, and then when I do think that I do good I don't get the response that I expected. Yesterday's interview was just horrible, so I'm pretty sure I messed that one up. And then the interview that I had today I thought went really really well. Both while I was waiting to be interviewed I was listening to the guy that was being interviewed before me, and they hired him right on the spot. But me? they said they would call me next week. So, I dont know about that. The interview tonight is my second interview so I'm thinking that's a good sign. But its just a serving position at this little hip restaurant downtown. But a jobs a job, I guess and it is a really cool place. I probably won't be finding a teaching position until the beginning of the next school year, since summer is coming up soon. So, I need something to bring in the cash flow while I wait. ;)

Keeping with the warm weather theme, I wanted something cold for brekkie this morning...so I had some cereal!

• 1 Cup All-Bran Flakes
• 1/2 Nanner
• Cinnamon
• Blueberries!

For lunch I wanted something for my sweet tooth. Whenever I get a sweet craving for lunch I always fix up a yummy grilled peanut butter and Jayjay.

• Grilled Honey Wheat Toast
• 2 Tbsp. Mighty Maple Peanut Butter
• Other half of the 'Nanner from brekkie
• Blackberry Preserves
• Cinnamon

I wanted to try Chobani flavor #2. I have heard rave reviews of the blueberry flavor, so I decided this was the one for me today.

I added some chopped up strawberries, just cause.

Ok guys, I know that you all LOVE the Chobani, but I must say that while I do like it a lot, I think that I like the Oikos better. Its just thicker and creamier. But then again, I haven't tried the plain Chobani, so it might be a little thicker since it doesnt have the liquid fruit flavoring at the bottom. I think that if you were trying to ease someone into greek yogurt that Chobani would def. do the trick. But for someone who has been eating greek yogurt for a while, I have kind of built up a taste for the thicker kinds.

Now I have to freshen up and head out for my THIRD interview in the past 36 hours. This whole "job hunt" thing is really starting to wear on me. I feel like I have definitely at this really hard cross road in my life right now, and I still haven't decided which way I want to go. I have a lot of options that I have been considering and have made steps towards all of them, just to see what pans out. I need everyone's prays and support right now, its a pretty hard/confusing time! Right now my options include:

1. Grad School for my Masters in Education
• Steps towards this: I have signed up to take the GRE (which is like the ACT for grad school) and I take it next Tuesday. I have also applied for scholarships and financial aid.
• Pros: It will help me build up my credentials for a better chance at scoring a teaching job when I graduate with my masters. Also, the economy will hopefully be better when I get out of school
• Cons: I'm not sure if I want to continue with education, or do something else. I'm not sure if I would be able to pay for it.
2. Pursuing a second degree in Nutrition:
• Steps toward this: I have met with the nutrition director of my old college and reapplied for admission to ETSU for a 2nd degree.
• Pros: Nutrition is something that I am way interested in and would love to pursue it. Also, I think that with 2 degrees I will have more of a range when looking for a job.
• Cons: I'm sort of ready for a change of scenery and don't really want to go back to the same school I just graduated from.
3. Continuing in my job search for a teaching position:
• Steps towards this: Put in multiple applications and gone to interviews. Also, I am attending a job fair in April in Nashville for teachers.
• Pros: Well, obv. its what I set out to in the first place and it would be nice to be settled with a career (and steady paycheck).
• Cons: It's so hard to find and job with the economy how it is and nothing is guaranteed. Also, I'm not 100% sure that I am ready to settle into a career just yet.

So there you have it. This are the issues that have really been weighing on me lately. I know that everything will work out the way that they are supposed to, but it is just so hard and confusing! Any advise?!

Woah! I wrote way too much...I gotta RUN! I'll let you guys know how this interview goes when i get back!

Lots of Love <3 Ems.

Edited to add: I just got home from my last interview and I got the job! I start on Friday. Its just that job as a server at that little resturuant, but it will have to do for now. I need some cash flowage, so hopefully this will help while i decide what the HELL I wanna do with my life! Thanks for all the postive comments guys, you always put a bright spot in my bad days, it is much appreciated. PLUS, it totally made me day to hear that Katie thought I looked like Elisha Cuthbert :)

First Day of Spring!

Heres a little Spring Trivia to start off the season:

What are the two most popular spring activities?

Go ahead take a guess!

So I woke up bright and early this morning in preparation for the "Hooray Spring Six Miler" that the Miss RunningLaur was putting on. I wanted to run outside on my favorite trail since it was so nice outside. I went a little camera happy documenting this monuments day (WINTER IS GONE!).

Driving to the trial. Do you see any clouds? Good. I dont either, thats because its SPRING!

Wait, I think I may see one...oh nope, its spring.

Stopped at a red light, I get behind THIS guy who drives surprisingly slow considering he is "z boss"

Here is my reaction to this:

Finally i get to my trial. Just look how perfect of a day it was!

As you can see on the right there is a small skate park that I run by. Well, today I was running by and there were two little kids on bikes. They were MAYBE 14, so I didnt really think anything of it as I ran by. I noticed that they were watching me as I ran by though so I paused my IPOD, but kept it in my ears so they didnt think I could here. One of the boys said to the other "wait a second, she has a nice butt and I'm trying to enjoy it". hahahaha. I turned around and waved as I kept running by.

More of the gorgeous spring day.

Done with my run, getting a refresher with my lovely water bottle courtesy of Emily.

I used the stopwatch on my ipod and clocked the 6 miles in 1:05:43. I walked some it because there are some ROUGH hills on the trial.

When I got home I fixed up a nice lunch complete with peanut butter, bananas, blueberries, and apples. WOAH! fruit overload. For some reason I always eat all my fruits for lunch and all my veggies for dinner. I dont know why I have that stereotype.

All grilled up and gooey and melty. YUM!

Ok now its time to watch some college basketball. GO BUCS!

Hope everyone is having a great start to spring and the weekend! Lots of Love, <3 Ems.

Rain, Rants, and Running...

In honor of the first day of spring break (not that I am still in school...but I do sub, so that counts right?) I made up a wonderful breakfast, worthy of a saturday morning, except it was monday...and there is nothing wrong with that in my book. ;)

French Toast with Blueberries and Maple Syrup

After breakfast I hit up the gym. There is a story behind this girlies. I have FALLEN in love with running, ok I have always loved running, but after running my first 10K and seeing that I could do it, I have gained confidence to really get serious about running! SO, I am starting a training program to help me run a faster 10K. I ran the first in just over an hour, so I want to aim for less than an hour next time. Anywho, today I started day one of the eight week training. I was scheduled to run 3 miles today and add some strength training as well. My workout today included:

• 3 miles at a 10 minute mile pace, then a 5 minute cool down.
• Series of arm workouts on the machines, 3 sets of 10 reps each.
• 30 minutes of yoga (to stretch and cool down)

Ok, I have a question for all you runners out there. I know that it is important to not overtrain and to start out slow, but I am used to getting in more of a workout than this. Can I add another form of cardio, as long as its low impact on my legs? Or is it important to only stick with the running schedule when your training? I know when I do long runs I will only do that, and I do have days on the schedule for cross training, but when I only run 3 miles, I feel like I could still do more of a workout. So what is the protocol on that?

When I got home from the gym I fixed up a quick lunch:

I was craving peanut butter BIG TIME today! This sammie includes:

• Mighty Maple PB (as seen hangin' in the back)
• Whole Wheat Bread
• Strawberry Preserves
• Sliced Granny Smith Apple
• Blueberries

And some fat free pineapple yogurt on the side:

Weird food confession: I think it is DE-LISH to dip my PB & J in my yogurt. Think its crazy?! try it!

After lunch I met the mom and little sissy to see a movie starring these boys that you may or may not be familiar with:

I must admit that I have never really been a big fan (I think I'm a little old) haha. The movie did remind me of the Beatles movies, but that kind of pissed me off. haha. I DO think the youngest one is a cutie, though. And that creeped me out a little, when I learned that he is only 17.

I came home and have been taking it easy all day! It is soooo rainy and gloomy outside that all I wanna do is stay inside with some hot tea! The only thing about staying home is that the roommate situation is growing more and more annoying with every second! All she does is pace the floor and pop a strawberry or something like that every time she gets hungry! I want to yell at her "JUST EAT SOMETHING STUPID!!". Some of you asked me if it was triggering, and it is not, just annoying. Actually it is almost the opposite of triggering, because I love coming home from the gym and eating a nice big PB & J and feeling HEALTHY and GOOD about my body, while she paces around waiting for her scheduled time to eat an apple, or like 5 shrimp. GEEZ! Also, some of you asked if she knew about my struggles and she does. actually I remained silent for a while, the whole time she made little jokes such as "Im glad im bulemic" while eating a big piece of cake, or after eating a big meal out saying "after this im going anorexic", until I finally could not take it anymore and I told her what I had gone through and that jokes like that made me very uncomfortable and offended. She stopped joking about it, but now its this! And it wouldnt be SO bad, if she would just shut the hell up about it! She wants to talk to me about it everytime Im home, and it makes me just want to leave! Right now, Im in my room with the door closed. haha. I have told her that I do not think it is healthy, but I dont think it helps. I guess I'll just have to ignore it and go about my healthy, happy lifestyle.

Sorry for the rant, I promise thats all I am going to say about it! Im off the make dinner, take a shower, and watch The City.

Tomorrow is St. Patricks Day!! I hope I have something green to wear! Anyone have plans?!

Pump, Pump, Pump It Up

Today was day two of trying out the running 6 miles thing, and I actually surprised myself again! I was looking forward to trying again all night last night and I woke up this morning ready to go! When I got to the gym, I saw an old friend and she said that she might do the race with me too, so that was exciting. Anyway, I managed to do six miles straight without walking, but at kind of a slow pace. I completed the six miles in about 80 min. But, like many of you have advised me to do, I'm not gonna worry about my time so much (I mean this is my first race) and just have fun and do it for the experience. I also have taken all of your advice and decided that its probably not the best idea to push myself to do six miles everyday up until the race, so I'm just gonna do a light run tomorrow and then probably just rest on Friday. Im also in the process of making a music mix for the run too. I took RunningLaur's advice and started with some slow music, but its a work in progress right now.

Everyone help out...What is your favorite song/songs to work out/run to. Maybe I could make a "blogger work-out mix CD" .

Another thing that I am LOVING is how running as my primary source of exercise makes me feel. I'm not sure if I have addressed this before, but in the midst of my ED I was working out ALL THE TIME, sometimes I would be in the gym twice a day. I was strictly working out to burn off calories, and I would not leave the gym until I had burned off almost every thing that I had eaten. Even today, when I workout on the eliptical or the other thing-y I do pay attention to how many calories I am burning over most everything else. Usually I try to burn a certain amount of calories before I will leave (of course I eat enough to make up for it now, unlike before) However, I know that this is not a healthy approach to exercise. Anyway, the point of that is today and yesterday when I was running I didnt even hardly look at the calories that I was burning, because I was more concentrated on the mileage. I realized half-way through my run yesterday that I had not even glanced at the calories I had burned and I just got the biggest smile on my face. FINALLY, I am doing something because I enjoy it, and because it makes me feel good. Not because I feel like I HAVE to burn a certain amount of calories. And even though I dont burn as many calories running as I do doing other things, I FEEL so much better and my body feels GOOD! I feel like this is just one more point in my recovery that I am about to hit. Girls, it is hard! Even though I have gained the weight back, I still struggle (I'm not gonna lie and act like my recovery is 100% now) You guys know that it is not all just the weight, it is changing the way you think. And it soooo hard to change when you have so much knowledge of calories, and food, and things like that. Slowly but surely I am getting there, and this is just proof. The past couple of days that I have been running I feel so healthy and happy. I feel more proud of my body now because it is in shape not skinny...and I'll take a muscular, womanly body over a stick thin little girl's body any day!

Wow! what a rant, I usually try to avoid those, but I just had to tell you guys about this turning point in my recovery. I hope it will continue to grow!

When I came home from my run I WAS HUNGRY and I was kinda craving something sweet. So I had my usual, but still yummy grilled PB&J. I wanted to do something different this time, just for kicks. So I added some nice big juicy blueberries on top of my 'Nanner.

I also tried out my new Oikos Vanilla Greek Yogurt:

This is the same flavor that my sister reviewed yesterday. I added some strawberries and blueberries to make it fruit-ier.

Why would my camera not focus?!! grrrr.

Oh my, just look at that gooey peanut butter and the warm melty blueberries. OH-SO-GOOD!

At the last minute I decided to go ahead and plate it up with some cantaloupe. Is it possible to eat too much fruit?! haha.

Now Im gonna surf some blogs and get some ideas for din din. Thanks for all the support and advice about the run. Anymore is totally welcome, I love hearing all the advice from you guys (I really admire all of you!). And dont forget to tell me your fave workout song/songs. I really am gonna make a blogger mix! Maybe distribute them?!

Hope everyone has a wonderful night! Lots of Love, <3 Ems.