Livin' the Life...

Of an Elementary School Art Teacher, that is. In bed by 10, up by 530, packed lunches, rowdy kids, hands blue from markers...and funny thing is...I'm kinda liking it. Alot.

Not to say it hasn't been rough, but a good kind of rough...ya know? The kind of days where you come home feeling like you have been hit by a train, but somehow in a good way. A way that you know you put your time in today and you DID something worth doing. Because easy things aren't even worth it, its the hard things that make you stronger and make you who you are.

I have to admit, I was getting discouraged with the job search and losing touch with the part of me that really wanted to be a teacher in the first place. I was starting to question if it was even something that I wanted to do with my life. But now I see that I was only questioning it because it was hard, not because it wasn't what I wanted. Now I want it more than ever. I LOVE being a teacher, I LOVE the kids, I LOVE the school. It fits. Its me. I can't wait to have my own classroom.

So I know that I have missed a couple of days of blogging, but that is because I have been dead tired for the past three days. With being sick and still working every morning, I pretty much come home and crash! BUT I did take pictures of what its like to eat breakfast and lunch as a "teach".

Breakfast #1:

Banana Pancake Oats...eaten atop my flannel pj's while sitting on my bed reading blogs on the laptop.

Close-Up/Break-Down:

• 1/2 Cup Oats
• 1/2 Cup of Skim Milk
• LOADS of Cinnamon
• 1/2 Banana
• Tbsp. Maple Syrup
• Kashi Flax Cereal

Lunch Day #1

Turkey Sandwich on Wheat eaten atop my desk, with my caffeine fix (gotta have it), a note that says "your the best", and a grade book to the right.

Breakfast Day #2:

Apple Cinnamon Oats eaten atop my leopard print throw. Includes:

• Chopped Apple
• 1/2 Cup Oats
• 1/2 Cup Skim Milk
• LOADS of Cinnamon
• Kashi Flax Cereal

Lunch Day #2:

Hummus and Spinach Sandwich, Pretzels, and an Apple (oh the irony)...eaten atop my desk with all kinds of good teacher-y stuff up there!!

So there you have two breakfasts and lunches in the life of a teacher. Pretty exciting right?...ummm...

Also, like I said before, me being sick gave me an excuse to relax and rest a little. And also to catch up on my cinema. I watched Twilight...which was good, but nothing GREAT. Sorry guys, I know a lot of you are big fans. Then I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Let me just tell you, if you have not seen this movie...GO NOW! It was AMAZING. I seriously loved every minute of it. I laughed, I cried...it was great. There was one quote that I loved in the movie and when I was at school I looked up the exact wording because I could not get it out of my head.

I jotted it down, and when I was bored during my "planning" period I made it all pretty.

"You can be mad as hell at the way things went. You could swear, curse the fates...but when it comes to an end, you have to let it go."

This just hit so close to home for me, because I have a really hard time letting things go. Especially things that did not turn out the way that I had wanted them to. Sure I could be angry at how things turned out. But when its over its over, and keeping those angry feelings inside only make it worse and won't turn back time. When things end you just have to let them end and learn for next time. I think the practically reminds me of relationships that I have had in the past.

Now, I am off the enjoy the weekend!!!....uhhh...tomorrow, right now I'm ready for SLEEP!

Hope everyone has a fun and exciting weekend.

Lots of Love, <3 Ems

Ch-ch-ch Changes

So, as you guys know the past couple of days have really been a struggle for me, well heck we will go ahead and say the past couple of months have been a struggle for me. Im caught in a cross roads at a very strange time and have been hit with the harsh reality that I have to make a decision, things have to change. As much as I would love to stay in the routine of what is comfortable and "safe" for me, it is no longer possible to do that. And that happens sometimes, its life and if there are not bumps in the road and hard decisions to make, then you are not fully living it.

It hit me hard during my run today. My mind just started to wonder and I started trying to work everything out in my head. I came to the conclusion that most of the things that I am struggling with are a result of one thing : fear of the change, of something new. It has been something that I have seen around a lot of the blogs lately too, and it definitely is a major theme in the road to recovery from ED. Fear of the unknown, its always gotten to me. Im afraid of new relationships because I have been hurt in the past, I am afraid of new jobs because I might not like them, I am afraid to step outside of the comforts that I have worked so hard to build up in my everyday life. But here is what hit me, just out of now where today while I was pondering all of this - sometimes things just HAVE to change, sometimes its for the better and sometimes not...but things will always fall into place. I can not hold on to something for forever, what good would that do? I have to let go of the past and start on a new road. Sure, things were great on that old road that I have been on for so long, but some things weren't. Now there is a new road, a new chapter that I have to embrace and leave the other one behind. Yes, it could have its bumps as well...but I am fully confident that it will have its smooth spots too.

Then, just like I was meant to find this, one of my friends sent me a quote on my phone that I just so happened to read right after my run. It hit so close to home that I was almost in tears while reading it. From what I have been reading in a lot of other blogs about fear of change, I thought that a lot of you may be able to relate. So here it is:

"Change. It can be the most amazing thing, or the worst heartache. So much is different since last week, and then I think back to last month... And I see a picture hanging up from last year. I see me and my friends laughing and I miss them, I miss then. Then I think about how great life is now and I wonder why I miss back then. I think the uncertainty of the moment right now and wondering whats next can be fearful... But aren't you excited to think about the potential of tomorrow? The anticipation of looking back a year from now at the pictures you'll take next week is worth waking up for. No matter how miserable a situation may seem, you can always find hope in the fact that it too will soon change. And although you might miss a moment or a feeling from the past, you still always have the chance to feel it again. Take advantage of your chances, there are some things you don't want to regret."

Everything about this just fit my situation to a tee. I have been afraid to leave my old job because of the fun times and the people that I love there, but who is to say that I wouldn't experience all new great things in a new place? I have been afraid to start a new relationship because I am afraid that I would never fell love again like before and that I would be hurt again, but I have to break down that wall and realize that there is a chance to feel that again, if I don't hold myself back from it. I have been so scared of this change that I have let it just eat at me, but why? change is scary, but its good. It means that my life is GOING somewhere, not just sitting still.

So I'm going to face this change head on...I'm going to go down this new path full speed ahead. I want new experiences, new people, new places, ect. I'm ready...lets see whats down this road...bring it on.

THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD., originally uploaded by EDWARD DULLARD.

Change of subject...ask and you shall receive...wanna see the new boy?!

Did I mention that he is a foot taller than me?! haha. Also, this picture is from a while back, not from the games yesterday...but i just had to show a picture of him! :)

The game was fun. My sister came with me, so I got to spend quality time with her as well, which is always good. Obviously since I had to put up an old picture I didn't steal of pic of Lucas yesterday. But I did get a shot of him playing:

He's the pitcher ;)

And me and the sissy

Now, time for lunch, shower, work...and hopefully Lucas is coming in for a SECOND weekend. Can't get enough of me?!....perhaps....or maybe its just Easter. haha.

Hope everyone has a great day! Lots of Love, <3 Ems.

Checkin' Off the To-Dos

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! I hope everyone is having a good one, and celebrating with lots of green and maybe beer?! Or not...whatever floats ya boat ;) Today has been pretty busy and successful! I started out just NOT motivated to do anything, but I turned off that negative voice and started about my day.

FIRST something new, I went to the college that I graduated from in December and met with the head of the Nutrition Program there to possibly re-enroll and get a second degree in dietetics. Not 100% sure yet, but it is an option that has come up and I was just looking into more info about it. It is definitely something that interests me, and I think that I would have more success in the career path if I had more of a range (and having two degrees is a good range). The lady was super nice and super encouraging. The next step is to talk to admissions and finical aid and see what my options there are. Its something to consider at the very least.

SECOND, I got day two of training for a faster 10K out of the way. My training schedule had me at running an easy 3 miles today, so I ran it in about 35 minutes, and then cooled down for 5 minutes. After that I did 20 minutes on the eliptical. I kept the eliptical very low paced though, because I dont want to wear out my legs. Tomorrow I am just scheduled to run for 30 mintues. Its supposed to be a nice day, so I'll probably be doing that one on the running trial that I like.

THIRD, I came home and made lunch. For the first time since fall started I was not in the mood for a warm sammie, I wanted a cold one. So that is what I had. With the last apple on the side. MAN it is time for a grocery trip. guess I didnt get everything done!

Close-Up/Break-Down:

• Wheat Bread
• Turkey
• Spinach
• Greek Style Hummus
• Cucumber
• Sprouts
• Salsa
• Spicy Mustard

After I gobbled up my lunch I went BACK to the gym for a yoga class that I noticed they were having at my gym tonight. It said it was a beginners class, so I thought it would be nice to just go and get all stretched out from my running. It was a pretty good class...but it was TOTALLY for beginners, people were not taking it too seriously and they were laughing and falling all over the place, so it was sort of distracting. I liked the teacher though, so Im going to see if she has a more advanced class that she teaches. At the end of the practice she said something SO good. It was a story and it went something like this:

"One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of theanimal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!"

MORAL: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can either let those troubles bury us alive or use them to get ahead, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

I really took this to heart. I think that a lot of times I let things get to me and I get angry or upset when troubles come my way. But instead, I need to see those troubles as stepping stones and shake it off and use the experience to get ahead!

I just got home from yoga and now I am gonna shower and get ready to go an irish pub downtown with Britt to celebrate the holiday. Nothing too crazy tonight though, she has class tomorrow at 9 and I'm taking an Asheville trip tomorrow morning with the fam. Pics to follow!!

Everyone be safe and have fun tonight if you are celebrating!

Lots of Love, <3 Ems.

Love and Support

Ok, this is not going to be a food post (I'll probably get one of those in a little later) I just feel like I had to get some of this out. The past couple of days have really been a big test for me, I wont go into too much detail but it has to do with boy issues and such. Im sure you girls know how that is. Anyway usually this would be the time that I would be beating myself up about it and turning to ED to help deal. This morning my friend and I were texting about it and what I said actually even shocked me, and I'm sure it shocked my friend. The conversation went a little something like this:

Friend: "Well, just keep that pretty little head up"

Me: "Not a problem. If things are going to be like this, then it just wasn't meant to be, and I'm totally fine with that."

Friend: "That's a mighty nice prospective to have!"

Me: "It's the only one to have!"

At that moment the beautiful Megan's words came to mind "If your not happy, then what else can you be?" I love this because it is so true. Why waste your life worrying about the things that you can not control? Everything is in God's hands and what is best for your life at that moment will happen, I really do feel confident about that. Things that are meant to work out, will work out. And the things that are not meant to be, won't. Sometimes it may not feel like the best thing at that moment, but I can honestly look back and say that all of the hard times I have had have brought me to the place that I am now. And I like that place, and I can only think that everything that happens from here on out will bring me to an even better place.

With that said, I also came to the realization of what a big help having this blog is. I don't know if I would have been able to have such a positive attitude about what is going on, if it had not been for all of you girls. Every day I am inspired by something that I read on one of your blogs, and I see the strength and positivity that each one of you possess. I feel so blessed that this has come into my life, and it is just one more example of how everything that pops into your life is there for a reason. I have gotten very close to some of you, and feel like friendships are being developed everyday. Even though I have not met any of you in person, I feel like I have become close friends with all of girls by sharing things from each of our days with eachother. So thanks to all of you for being such WONDERFUL, STRONG, and INSPIRING girls. I love all of you and just wanted you guys to know that!

Im gonna stay positive, because what else can I do? Its my life and being negative about it is no way to go through life. Because what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...right?! and I feel like a lot of us are living proof of that!

So for keeping me sane and positive through the hardest times I love you all and send you lots of love and kisses! :)

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."

- George Bernard Shaw

Opinion

Ok girls. I have something that I need you advice your on:

In my last post I told you that I was getting ready to go out with my friend Brittani for the night. Well, Brittani is one of my good friends, she know a little about what I have gone through, but not much...I just dont really like to talk about it to certain people and she is def one of them! haha. Anyway, last night while we were getting ready to go out she talking about how fat she was and how she was going to just "not eat". This is not the first time that she has said things like this and everytime she brings it up I tell her that that is an issue for me and it makes me uncomfortable for her to say things like that, but she STILL talks about it!! She talked about not eating to lose weight for a good 30 minutes before I looked at her and I said "Brittani, believe me that is not a place that you want you to go" and then I went on this HUGE rant about self-confidence and how there are so many other things is this world to care about and dedicate yourself to that are WAY more important than outward appearance. I still dont think that she was fully convinced and the whole time we were eating dinner she talked about how she should not be eating what she was eating and it really made me SUPER uncomfortable and SUPER mad. Have any of you girls ever been through this? What should I do when someones starts talking like that? Most of my other friends are strong confident girls and also know a little bit more about what I went through and they NEVER bring stuff like that up. I love Brittani, but I dont know if it is good for me to surround myself with that. But on the other hand, I want to help her if she is headed down the wrong road. AHHH!! I need everyones expert advice on this, because I know some of you may have been put in this position before as well.

Ok with that said last night was also pretty fun besides that. We went to this dance club called CHROME (I know cheesy name, right?!) and we danced all night...I just love dancing and always have such a blast there! I came home and crashed and now I have no idea why I am up at 830! haha. I just really dont like to sleep in no matter what time I go to bed the night before, what can I say?! Im def a morning person :)

My breakfast this morning was the perfect cure...some berry banana oats and several cups of coffee!

Enjoyed all together by my computer, on top of my ironically "teachery" apple notebook!

So anyone have any fun plans for the weekend? Mine is pretty much up in the air, so well see.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”

-August Wilson

HAPPY FRIDAY LOVES! <3

***FOOD UPDATE***

oh boy! I had some good eats today after brekkie. I finally broke into my flat out wraps and made a wrap with garlic hummus, LOTS of spinach, a few turkey slices, and salsa...OH MY GOODNESS where have these flat out wraps been all my life?! I have always been more of a sandwich girl than a wrap girl...but these definitely could convert me!

I also had some 2& Fage yogurt with blueberries mixed in. AKA the PERFECT lunch.

I ate kind of a late lunch so I wasnt hungry for dinner before I had to leave for work at 6...but I knew that it would be around 10 before I could actually eat dinner, so I snacked on my new Kashi cereal, mixed with a handle of bran flakes, some blueberries, and vanilla soy milk!

And now for the BEST eats of the night...I picked this dinner up at earthfare on my way home...

Spicy tuna roll...YUMMY! MY FAVE

Now Im just relaxing at the house talking to the boyrfriend on the phone. I hope everyone has a wonderful firday night! <3

What The?!!?!

Ok, so I wake up this morning with all the intentions of a pretty full day...you know, taking some things back, gym, grocery shopping, work. Little did I know I would open the curtains this morning to find THIS going on outside:

I didnt even know it was supposed to snow!! There goes my day, I guess. Yoga on the laptop sounds good to me! haha. Maybe the mall will close and I wont have to work either. Im tellin ya people around here FREAK when it snows even a little, because its not that often that it does. oh and yes, that is my poor little car covered in snow...do I even own a ice scraper?!

"The FDA is warning people not to eat peanut butter because of a salmonella outbreak that officials believe claimed the lives of six people, and made more than 400 others sick." For those of you who hadnt heard about the peanut butter thing here is a link to the report. Its kinda scary, but I still finished off my jar of cinnamon raisin swirl last night ;). I figure if Im still fine after eating most of the jar over the past few weeks, the PB should be uncontaminated.

Does anyone else watch the food network as much as I do?! I just love it for some reason, and its kinda embarrassing to admit! Who is your favorite cook?...or what is your favorite show? I think my favorite cook would have to be sandra lee, all her recipes are really simple...PLUS she always has "cocktail time", and who doesnt love a good cocktail?! and yes, I cant help it...I think bobby flay is a cutie!

I just got off the phone with my mom and we have made plans to watch the inauguration tomorrow morning together. How appropriate is it that the very first african american president is being sworn in the day after Martin Luther King Jr. day?! Its so amazing how far we have come in this country and it really makes me proud that we are no longer living in the dark ages when it comes to race and people who are different. I strongly believe that everyone should have love for all people, even people who are different. America is such a melting pot and I love that. I love discovering new people, new food, new clothes, etc. So I hope everyone will EMBRACE CHANGE.

Well, Im off to make some breakie and finish up some stuffs around the house. For those of you who have the day off, I hope you enjoy it dears! And for those of you who dont...make the most of it and STILL enjoy it!

I leave you with some of my favorite quotes from MLK and they are all so fitting with the current events:

"The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one."

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

"We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now."

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

Home Alone...

"There are times when silence has the loudest voice" - Leroy Brownlow.

I just had to put up a quote about silence because my house it soooo quite right now! Its very weird, because it is NEVER quite. I have two HUGE dogs (both of them 200 pounds) One is a Great Perinease and the other is a St. Bernard. here is a picture of the both of them in their usual state.

Well, my roommate left for Napa Valley this morning for job training and took the dogs to the Kenel. So, here I am...all alone! No roommate, no dogs. I cant decide if I like that peace and quiet or not. Right now it is ok...and im SURE it will be just fine with me when the dogs arent waking me up at 530 in the morning with their barking...but i know two weeks of this is going to get lonely! Ill just have plenty of Pajama Parties, I suppose! haha.

This morning I woke up and had my usual breakfast...two slices of wheat bread, one with blueberry preserves, the other with strawberry. I know Im weird, but I like to mix up the flavors! With 1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese, sprinkled with cinnamon. I always put the cottage cheese on top of the toast and it sooooo good!! And of course, coffee!

I worked open to close today, and I was planning on packing my lunch...but I was running late, so I was FORCED to eat out of the food court :(. blah! The best thing that I could think of to eat was just a grilled chicken sandwich. So many of my friends eat fast food all the time and I just dont like it. They always call me out and talk about how "healthy" I eat. Do any of you guys get that from your friends?! I just tell them that thats what I like to eat. and that is that.

When I got home from work I was pretty hungry and wanted something quick. So I microwaved some Mac and cheese and them bulked it up with some steamed broccoli and cauliflower mixed in. I also had an apple on the side.

So, what does everyone think about the peanut butter scare?! I was just wondering because peanut butter is such a big staple on everyone's blogs. I know I just finished a whole jar of PB & Co. peanut butter, and so far I feel fine!

Well, I think I'm gonna call it a night. I might actually get some sleep tonight, with the dogs being gone! I hope everyone had a relaxing Sunday! Its back to work tomorrow. dears!

GOODNIGHT!